Nosebleeds And Narcissists
by Wings Of Sanguine
Summary: Two new students show up at the DWMA, much to the gang's surprise. One- shot. (DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER OR PANT AND STOCKING WITH GARTERBELT)


Maka sighed. It had only been a week at DWMA- Death Weapon Meister Academy, if you really wanted to get in a mouthful- and already, her weapon, Soul Eater Evans was behind on their duties as meister's in training. Which meant she was behind as well, and that was not a good thing to be.

"Come on, Soul!" Maka urged, her voice sounding slightly whiny, "we need to go or we'll be late for Professor Stein's class again!" The white haired boy smirked, licking his lips- Maka was always punctual, and it sometimes bothered him that she had a down to the minute schedule.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, waving away her complaint as if it were a fly buzzing annoyingly in his ear, "we'll be fine, don't worry so much, okay?" Maka curled her hands into fists, the leather of her pristine white gloves stretching and pulling across the contours of her hands.

"No, Soul!" Maka barked, shaking her head, "not okay! You know how much it annoys me when we're late! We'll get a detention for sure this time!" Soul laughed- of al the things she was worried about, it didn't seem like missing any important tests was on her mind. _Then again_, he thought as he sighed reluctantly and pushed himself off the couch, _Maka never got a single detention_.

"Okay, okay," he grumbled, "let's go." Huffing with triumph, Maka stalked out of the dorm, a good foot ahead of him as they navigated through the halls of the school. Plush red carpet muffled their footprints as they walked, various students mucking about, chilling by the window or practicing new moves to show off to their friends. Looking around, a glint of boredom in his red eyes, he watched as his school mates simply relaxed, slightly jealous that his meister was dragging him to classes instead. _And speaking of Maka_, he thought to himself, _where was she?_ Scanning the area, there was no sign of her. Shrugging, he strolled along. She was probably ahead of him, already in her seat and excitedly taking notes on whatever boring subject they were supposed to be learning.

"Hey, Soul!" came a loud shout, making him jump. Turning, he came face to face with an exuberant Black Star, his blue hair spiked every which way. Next to him was the tall and curvy Tsubaki, a shy girl who was Black Star's weapon. She waved hello, the end of her long black ponytail swaying as she tilted her head sideways.

"What's up, Black Star?" Soul asked, a grin spreading on his face, showing off his sharpened teeth.

"Well, Maka and I were on our way to class, but I can't find her anywhere," Soul explained, letting out a small laugh.

"Who cares about classes?" Back Star boomed, puffing out his chest. At this comment, Tsubaki's face fell from content smile to shock and awe- only Black Star could say those things with such confidence, but Tsubaki was the only one who could really deal with all his antics.

"But…. Black Star…." she began, standing a little straighter.

"Tsubaki, come on!" Black Star chided her, "you know I'm awesome enough not to go! I don't really need those classes anyway!" Tsubaki faltered as she opened her mouth, then shut it, sighing.

"Whatever you say, Black Star," she agreed reluctantly, sounding exhausted, "but I'll have you know that we really need to work on our soul hunting skills because we've only collected two souls so far!" Black Star shrugged, raising an eyebrow.

"And your point is….?" he asked. Tsubaki shook her head, clearly having given up on the subject entirely as she answered, "Never mind. But we should be going because we'll be late to professor Stein's, okay?" Soul and Black Star exchanged a glance- what was it with girls and making it to class on time?

"Geez, Tsubaki," Soul said, "you sound just like Maka!" Tsubaki went red at this comment.

"Do i?" she asked sheepishly, "well, I mean…." Trailing off, she began to get flustered, twiddling her thumbs nervously as they began walking. Soul and Black Star laughed at the weapon.

"I was kidding," Soul said, and Tsubaki let out a sigh of relief as they reached the door to Stein's room, the deep brown oak creaking on its rusty hinges as it swung inward, revealing the entire class staring as they made their entrance. Nonchalantly, Black Star pulled Tsubaki into their seats, Soul following behind. Maka shook her head disapprovingly, clicking her tongue as he slid into the seat next to her.

"So, what'd I miss?" he asked, leaning closer to Maka to see what she had scribbled on the pages of her notebook which lay out in front of her.

"All we did was cover the same thing as yesterday," she answered, pushing her notebook closer to him so he wasn't breathing down her neck.

"Oh," he said, leaning back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head, "then i guess there's no point in looking over them, huh?" Maka went to retaliate, then shut her mouth as Stein began talking.

"Good morning class," the man said, reaching for a large bolt that protruded from the side of his head. The entire class winced in pain as he twisted it, small bolts of electricity crackling along the railroad tracks of scars on his face and body. lowering his hand, he went on, "I know many of you were looking forward to dissecting live frogs today-" at this ninety nine percent o the students groaned, one actually vomiting on the person next to them, "- but that will have to be put aside for tomorrow." Maka immediately shot a hand up in the air.

"Here we go…." Soul muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Professor! Why aren't we dissecting the frogs today?" Maka asked, a stern look in her green eyes.

"If you don't interrupt me I'll get to that," Stein said, then cleared his throat, "anyway. Instead, lord Death- sama has instructed me to introduce the two new students who will be joining us today." There was suddenly a low buzz in the room, the misters and weapons acting as if they had never heard of there being a new student before.

"Settle down, settle down!" Stein ordered until there was a gradual silence filling the room, "I know having new students at this time of year is unusual, but we'll have to deal with it."

"Wait- there's more then one?" Soul asked his keister, who rolled her eyes with annoyance.

"Yes, you idiot," she huffed, resting her chin on her hands, her elbows against the desk, "weren't you listening?"

"Of course I was listening…." he trailed off, his face gong red, Maka smirked as she turned her attention back to Professor Stein, who had become busy with picking the inside elf his ear. Flicking his findings away into some dark corner of the room, he raised a fist to his mouth, coughing. _Probably from all the smoking he does_, Maka thought.

"So, without further ado, I would like to introduce-"

_RRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!_

The bell rang, cutting his speech short as students began t file out of the classroom, chatting idly with their friends, now completely ignoring the teacher. Maka slammed her notebook shut, surprising Soul as he jumped up to follow her out of the room.

"Come on, Soul," she said, "lunch time!" Soul followed, his stomach suddenly growling loudly. Despite being a bookworm, Maka had a small weakness for her lunch period, seeing as it was the only time she could read all of her very large, and slightly boring books.

The cafeteria was a large room, tables covering the vast floor, some pressed up against the walls. Trays were littered on multiple tables, students walking around, joining their friends, others stuffing their faces full of gourmet lunches. Scanning the area, Maka noticed the others- Black Star, Death The Kid and his two weapons, Liz and Patty all waving them over cheerfully, two empty seats waiting to cushion their butts to heaven, with red velvet plush- gold tassels decorating the sides for an added amount of flair.

"Hello, Maka, Soul," Tsubaki said politely as the two walked over and sat down. Soul grunted in response, Maka bowing her head slightly. The chairs creaked against the floor as they pulled them out.

"Hey guys, what's up?" she asked, noticing how Patty kept trying to make her food look like a snowman, using mashed potatoes, peas and KitKat bars for arms.

"Well, we did learn there was a new student today," Kid said, almost bored as he pushed his black hair out of his face. Three stripes adorned the left side of his hair, which bothered him, reminding him of his symmetrical OCD problem.

"Really?" Black Star asked, eyes wide with wonder, "who's the guy?!" He immediately squinted at a kid who was waiting nonchalantly on the lunch line, the kid jumping when he noticed black Star gazing at him intensely.

"Come on, Black Star," Tsubaki said gently, "stop scaring the others, okay?"

"Whatever," Black Star said, a grin on his face, "everyone knows I'm the coolest one here anyway, right Tsubaki?!" Tsubaki nodded, annoyed by his ego.

"You keep telling yourself that, kid," Liz Thompson muttered as she sipped her milk through a straw, flipping through the pages of a science textbook.

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" Kid chided, leaning back in his chair.

"I didn't mean you," Liz shot back jokingly, "it's a form of expression. Geez." Closing the book, she picked up a fork and reached over to pick at Patty's makeshift snowman, scooping off its head.

"Hey!" Patty pouted, "you killed him!"

"Oh please," Liz said through bits of mush, "it's just food, Patty." Patty rolled her eyes, setting to recreating her snowman for a second time.

"So, going back to the first topic, who was the new kid?" Soul asked Kid, blatantly ignoring the others.

"Well, there were two, actually," Kid explained with a sigh, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. Soul and Maka exchanged looks- Professor Stein had mentioned something about two new students, hadn't he?

"Did you meet them?" Maka inquired.

"No," Kid said, shaking his head, "we ran out of time.

"Same in our last class," Soul said.

"Really?" Tsubaki butted in, leaning over to look them in the eye. Black Star sighed, emitting a loud yawn. Everyone knew he was just bored now that the conversation was not centered on him. The kid was like that- all talk, no guts. Getting up, he announced, "I'm gonna get some dessert!"

"You do that, Black Star," Tsubaki said, waving him away. Annoyed, he stalked over to the lunch line, taking his place behind two random students who were gazing at the multiple desserts in the glass case.

"Come on, Stocking, hurry up," said one of the students in front of him- a busty blond, hair reaching her waist. She wore a red dress with matching red heels on her feet. Her nails were painted the same exact color, making it look as if she spent years looking for each item carefully, until she looked like the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae. On her ears were a pair of gold hoops.

"You promised i could get dessert, Panty!" whined the other student, a more busty girl in a goth lolita outfit. In her arms she was clutching a stitched up purple and white cat plush doll, clinging to it like it was a security blanket. Her hair was ridiculously long, a waterfall of violet colored locks with a bubblegum pink underside cascading until it brushed the floor, a pair of heavy bangs in her eyes.

"And i shouldn't have," Panty complained, "because it takes you forever to pick just one thing!" Panty let her eyes scan the cafeteria before she noticed Black Star looking at them with surprise.

"What do you want, dildo head?" Panty sneered with a laugh. Black Star said nothing, only shaking his head as Stocking began talking to the lunch lady, pointing out a rather large red velvet mousse cake, asking for the biggest slice possible.

"What?" Panty teased, a smirk on her face, "is cum stuck in your throat or something?" Stocking stifled a laugh as the lunch lady handed her a slice of cake over the counter. The piece itself looked to be about as large as a dodgeball, the red moist cake dripping with chocolate mousse sauce.

"What…..?" Black Star asked, confused as he looked at Panty- or really, her boobs, which were popping out of her red dress, cleavage for all to see. Shaking his head quickly he ran back to the others, face beet red by the time he sat down, chest heaving as he wiped his forehead.

"Yo, what happened?" Soul asked, arching an eyebrow as he watched Black Star slump over in his chair. Tsubaki leaned over and rubbed his back gently, saying, "There. there."

"We did," a voice said, footsteps accompanying them. Everyone glanced up to see the two girls leering over them, Panty standing defiantly with her hands on her hips, Stocking stuffing her face full of cake.

"Oh….." Soul mumbled, his face turning red as Kid tried his best to contain a sudden nosebleed, although you could obviously tell it wasn't working very well- the blood was running over his fingers, dripping onto the table, the floor, his clothes. Panty nudged her sister forward and pointed to the table.

"Mind if we sit here?" Everyone shook their heads as Panty and Stocking pulled two chairs around, plopping themselves down, Stocking almost done with her cake. Maka blinked, closing her book as she watched the two sisters. In a way, they reminded her almost of Liz and Patty- if they could possibly be sluttier and stuffed their faces all the time (which Patty was doing at the very moment, actually, so she guessed there wasn't much of a difference).

"So…." Maka cleared her throat, "are you two the, uh, new students?"

"Yeah," Panty answered, "what's it to you?"

"Um…just wondering, is all…." Maka felt the heat rush to her cheeks as Panty gave her a suspicious glare, "Well, stop wondering. It's dumb."

"Huh?"

"Listen Pigtails," Panty said, "Stocking and I don't really have time to fuck around and play nice."

"Excuse me?!" Maka cried, eyes narrowing in frustration. Stocking rolled her eyes- Panty was always picking fights with someone- usually Garterbelt, but really with anyone who would defend themselves.

"Here we go again," Stocking muttered as she shoved the last bite of cake into her gob, chewing slowly.

"Is she always like this?" Kid asked her, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Pretty much," Stocking answered with a single nod.

"Oh…." Kid said, paling slightly. Stocking placed the plate gingerly on the table, letting the fork clank against the china, "Panty! We should go!" Panty rolled her eyes at her sister.

"Now?" she whined.

"Yes, now!" Stocking demanded, "Garterbelt is gonna get us a new mission from Heaven, you know!" At the word "Heaven" Panty immediately brightened up, a wide grin spreading on her ace.

"Heaven?!" she asked excitedly, "that means…. more missions which means more coins!" Stocking nodded, flipping her purple and pink hair over her shoulder.

"Uh-huh! So let's go!" The two sisters were completely ignoring the others now, immersed in their own little world, it seemed.

"Wait- where's Chuck?" Panty asked, pulling her hand away when Stocking went to grab it.

"He's back home with Garterbelt," Stocking answered, "so let's go now! We don't have much time!" Peering over Panty's shoulder, Stocking waved a friendly good-bye to the group sitting at the table, all silent with awe and shock as she giggled, "So long, suckers!"

Soul watched as they ran off towards the entrance, wiping a small trickle of blood from his nose, his face as red as his pants, "That was…."

"Weird," Maka said for him, "don't you guys think?" She surveyed her friends faces. Kid and Soul were giving each other giddy looks, blood dripping from their nostrils again. Tsubaki and Liz were flipping through one of Liz's textbooks while Patty was stuffing her face full of her sister's lunch- her own plate was empty except for a few small crumbs. Black star, in the meantime, had fallen asleep without anyone noticing, and snoring quite loudly. Maka smacked hr forehead.

"Why do I even bother….?" she muttered to herself as she went back to reading her book, trying her best to ignore what the new students had said.


End file.
